Mother Role

This comes to mind often as I process being a parent. "Mother Role" for me has meant a huge amount of limitation and blocks that I finally became aware of and have slowly been sifting through. One of which is food. First child had a very strict food existence the first probably two years with breakfast, lunch and dinner being almost the same each day and by the clock most of the time! Luckily I saw the light and second child is very much in charge of her food intake and is very sure of her likes and dislikes. Yes there is what I consider to be junk food consumption and I am able to see this as another of her choices and not feel like I have to be the food police all the time :) I notice first child still occasionally asks for help with her food choices and so I like to quietly explain the importance of her listening to her body and knowing what it needs at any given time. I will also offer my opinion about a food choice if it is asked for, though always with the understanding that this is simply my opinion.

We now make food together and it is part of our learning day to discuss how, when, what and why we eat. As with many other things I listen for new pieces of information that I know I can glean from these smaller people who have the opportunity for much more freedom than I had!

Today"Mother Role" came up for me again when wind and tide aligned for me to go Kite boarding on my own. I felt so free and able to leave the kids with their Dad, take my gear and go for an indefinite time. It was not so long ago when I simply wouldn't go as it was not possible with the amount of housework, food to prepare, washing to fold and things to organise :) Looking back from now I was often overwhelmed with the daily tasks unbeknownst to me.

Wow I have moved ahead leaps and bounds with this. Not only do I leave with waves and kisses goodbye (rather than sneaking away hoping they wouldn't notice i was gone)  I am able to stay in the moment of driving the car to the beach breathing deeply in anticipation of being in nature, unload my gear have a chat to a couple of people about wind conditions. Kiteboard for a couple of hours and then return home to see very happy children who have eaten and have been playing in the water and happy to continue doing this for a furthur hour whilst Dad goes of kite boarding.

Let me explain some of the other crazy things that would go through my mind when I did manage to leave the house alone: what if they get hungry as I am the only one who knows what they like to eat and how to make it, i better really hurry as they might get whingy where no one can calm them down, the house will get totally trashed and it will take me all night to get everything back in order, there will be food left out and end up having to be thrown.......blah blah blah all the reasons I needed to be home with "my" children and cater for there every need.

So to explain how I feel now with my new way of BEing. By leaving the house to pursue kite boarding I am becoming more fit and healthy. I use this time to fill my own cup, I am having fun! I am pursuing a challenging learning experience, creating new friendships with like minded people.......just to name a few things and all of these for me are healthy role modelling for the girls. The beach and kite boarding is often a family affair too. We all love to spend time together at the beach and I love watching them enjoy Dad or I going out for a kite!

Happiness

It has been sometimes subtle and sometimes not the changes towards true happiness for me. This is happiness in the face of anything. Yes even when I am challenged by a situation I can feel happy to have this opportunity to learn and grow. Another term is grateful, finding the positive in a situation means that we can move forward with our learning rather than become stagnant.

I was always fascinated how there were people in WWll Concentration camps of Germany and they have this incredibly positive story to tell of their experience. I remember one man came up with this fantastic exercise program to keep others motivated to live. This is extreme where these people look like skin and bone yet there is still a fire in the belly for those that what to access it!

We certainly don't have conditions like that to contend with so already we are way up there with the luckiest people alive on this earth......we have choice of so much!. Some say this is where the problem lies, or you could be grateful for all this choice and then go about your day with making each choice a good one!!

A few days ago one of the younger members of our Natural Learning group asked me if I wanted a four leaf clover. "Of course!" I beamed and off he went running inside as I sat in the car waiting thinking is this for real? Out he came with a four leaf clover and I felt happy, grateful and lucky all rolled into one!!

The reason it is significant to me is because my Dad has always, since I have known him had a four leaf clover and said this brought him luck. Now at nearly 40 years of age I finally understand that it is little to do with luck and more to do with perspective. Focussing on what we want rather than don't want, seeing the positive in situations, living in a glass half full rather than half empty mentality is how it can be all the time.......which brings more happiness, joy and positive energy to everything you do therefore can only be a recipe for bigger and better things all the time!!

So, honestly when I was given a four leaf clover I said to myself wow can I get any luckier than I already feel in this life? And the answer is a resounding YES, of course I can because as I live in a positive, glass half full perspective things can only become better and more joyful and happy as I learn to live in the present moment every moment of the day :)

Rethinking Everything

The changes have been dramatic since the last time I posted. There has been two unschooling conferences, plus a heap of work with our online Learning Community. My energy has increased ten fold as I have let go of so many limitations around tv, food, my time, the children's time, how we use/or don't use our time.

I have been learning myself, kite boarding, crochet, poi's, blogging and other computer activities around recording what the children have been up to using evernote. I have been learning how I learn and been curious with myself and what I enjoy in each moment. Noticing when I feel uncomfortable and listening to my needs.......Self Nurture and Love and with this comes the ability to give true authentic love to others.

The connection with the children and Jason has been incredible, we have reached a new level, as a family, of togetherness that feels so very beautiful, natural and loving......I know there is room for more growth and forever grateful for the place we are at NOW. As this is all there is, now.

I have been asking myself the question, am I happy now? If not why not, what is stopping me and usually there is a negative thought that is far from the reality of the situation creeping around in my mind and ruining the serenity of now :)

More often than not I can dissipate this negative thought quickly, if it is something that requires action this is usually something achievable immediately to bring us back to the easy flow of life. The challenges are seen as just that and not a "problem" that needs fixing rather just another way of recognising contrast and areas of growth.

It comes down to peace......I feel so peaceful even in the face of the challenges as these are always a part of life and necessary. The growth is the part of being human and adaptable to changes, it is fun to see this as a new learning threshold

Slightly different track :)

A snippet from: http://www.creatinglearningcommunities.org/book/roots/laszlo2.htm

From There to Here

When we think of the kind of future we wish to bequeath to future generations, we imagine one in which we finally have found ways to live in harmony with each other and the other inhabitants of this planet and are consciously and ethically engaged in the most fascinating explorations of our human potential. This is our vision of a “sustainable and evolutionary future.” By sustainability we mean the capacity to maintain the viability of the biosphere since, without it, neither healthy life nor healthy societies are possible. Evolution, as we are using the term, implies the conscious capacity to unfold into new ways of self-organization that allow for a fuller expression of the creative potential of the universe of which we are part. In this sense, sustainability is as a necessary but not sufficient condition for an evolutionary future. But combined, these two features provide a powerful attractor¹  for the ethical co-creation of desirable futures.

Evolutionary Learning Community

Evolutionary Learning Community (ELC) is an ideal image of a future educational system. The three interrelated concepts that comprise the ELC construct (evolution, learning, and community) make explicit the key assumptions and aspirations underlying this image of education:

·         It is a community based educational system. Rather than functioning on the assumption that we need to go to school to learn, to work to be productive, and “away” to enjoy and have fun, ELC suggests the integration of work, learning, and enjoyment throughout life (i.e., intergenerational learning) in all our communities (e.g., family, neighborhood, organizations).

·         It is a learning oriented education, rather than a teaching based one. Its focus is life-long learning and the development of human potential.

·         It promotes self-directed, flexible, ongoing collaborative learning through learning community. This is not simply collective individual learning, but synergistic collaborative learning: learning content issues together while at the same time learning process issues about how to be community.

·         It seeks alignment with the evolutionary processes of which we are a part and empowers people to participate in conscious evolution.

Beautiful by Design

Chapter 1: "Nurturing Genius Through Natural Learning; Self Design"
Please log in and comment I want to hear other perspectives on this evolutionary thinking!!

This Chapter is full of "ah ha" moments. Made me realise how out of touch I am with true 'living'. How often have you felt in the flow of life where your daily activities and chores seem to just blend together effortlessly and your in touch with yourself and others. I know very occasionally this has happened, its called alignment with our own nature. We can have this all the time if we can stop thinking of our lives in terms of outcome and start noticing the inner process to lead to a more joyful way of living and learning.

Being Present

"Children are born totally present, and healthy relationships are based on full engagement in the present" hence we have so much to learn from our children by learning how to access the same state of presence. This chapter discusses tools to help us with this such as:

• looking closely how the conscious mind can limit the perceptual world

For me this means recognising how I can make everyday activities fun for myself and when I am enjoying life it helps everyone around me to enjoy life

• recognising the culture in which we grow up defines our identity

I understand this to mean we see ourselves as having to be a certain type of 'mother/father', 'wife/husband/partner' 'person at work'. To give a basic example: sometimes this makes me say to myself  "I have to cook dinner every night". This is the pressure I alone am putting on myself no one else is saying the dinner has to be cooked......being conscious of where we put pressure on ourselves to have certain things done and therefore not living in the moment and being. The judging of ourselves needs to STOP :) We have a choice!

Brent Cameron discusses Hardings findings and how he has a webcourse to learn his techniques and how we can use them with our children. I am yet to find this on his website but have been in contact with him  so will ask about it at a later date.

He goes on to discuss how SelfDesign is a whole mind/whole body learning process....true freedom to be curious enthusiastic and learning within a community, the optimal way of being human.

Let me know what you think of these ideas which is Chapter 0 "Nurturing Genius through Natural Learning"

SelfDesign "The Book"

"Nuturing Genius through Self Design" by Brent Cameron with Barbara Meyer, is a book we will be looking at and working through together - the adults in our Buds of Life group :). Anyone else is more than welcome to join us on this part of our journey! "As the self evolves, the design of our lives reflects this proportional growth, and our plans and passions shift accordingly. This is the heart of the self design process" Barbara Meyer. As this metodology involves a process of changing our beliefs about how education can be, my intention is for us to be able to work together to recognise how this will fit into our lives and look when we are interacting with ourselves , our children, and each other.

The Intro discusses conservation and innovation and finding the balance between using what has already been and using something new. Self Design is about living in alignment with our own natures which therefore creates the greatest balance. Not only our children will feel happy and fulfilled we as adults feel happy and fulfilled and everyone benefits.

I loved the analogy of gluing wings on a caterpillar that is used describing the current model of schooling where as to allow our childrens gifts to uniqely unfold "our caterpillars to metomorphose into butterflies" their natural learning ability can be nutured and they will fly with passion and understanding of how joyful life can be.