This comes to mind often as I process being a parent. "Mother Role" for me has meant a huge amount of limitation and blocks that I finally became aware of and have slowly been sifting through. One of which is food. First child had a very strict food existence the first probably two years with breakfast, lunch and dinner being almost the same each day and by the clock most of the time! Luckily I saw the light and second child is very much in charge of her food intake and is very sure of her likes and dislikes. Yes there is what I consider to be junk food consumption and I am able to see this as another of her choices and not feel like I have to be the food police all the time :) I notice first child still occasionally asks for help with her food choices and so I like to quietly explain the importance of her listening to her body and knowing what it needs at any given time. I will also offer my opinion about a food choice if it is asked for, though always with the understanding that this is simply my opinion.
We now make food together and it is part of our learning day to discuss how, when, what and why we eat. As with many other things I listen for new pieces of information that I know I can glean from these smaller people who have the opportunity for much more freedom than I had!
Today"Mother Role" came up for me again when wind and tide aligned for me to go Kite boarding on my own. I felt so free and able to leave the kids with their Dad, take my gear and go for an indefinite time. It was not so long ago when I simply wouldn't go as it was not possible with the amount of housework, food to prepare, washing to fold and things to organise :) Looking back from now I was often overwhelmed with the daily tasks unbeknownst to me.
Wow I have moved ahead leaps and bounds with this. Not only do I leave with waves and kisses goodbye (rather than sneaking away hoping they wouldn't notice i was gone) I am able to stay in the moment of driving the car to the beach breathing deeply in anticipation of being in nature, unload my gear have a chat to a couple of people about wind conditions. Kiteboard for a couple of hours and then return home to see very happy children who have eaten and have been playing in the water and happy to continue doing this for a furthur hour whilst Dad goes of kite boarding.
Let me explain some of the other crazy things that would go through my mind when I did manage to leave the house alone: what if they get hungry as I am the only one who knows what they like to eat and how to make it, i better really hurry as they might get whingy where no one can calm them down, the house will get totally trashed and it will take me all night to get everything back in order, there will be food left out and end up having to be thrown.......blah blah blah all the reasons I needed to be home with "my" children and cater for there every need.
So to explain how I feel now with my new way of BEing. By leaving the house to pursue kite boarding I am becoming more fit and healthy. I use this time to fill my own cup, I am having fun! I am pursuing a challenging learning experience, creating new friendships with like minded people.......just to name a few things and all of these for me are healthy role modelling for the girls. The beach and kite boarding is often a family affair too. We all love to spend time together at the beach and I love watching them enjoy Dad or I going out for a kite!
Saturday 29 December 2012
Thursday 20 December 2012
Happiness
It has been sometimes subtle and sometimes not the changes towards true happiness for me. This is happiness in the face of anything. Yes even when I am challenged by a situation I can feel happy to have this opportunity to learn and grow. Another term is grateful, finding the positive in a situation means that we can move forward with our learning rather than become stagnant.
I was always fascinated how there were people in WWll Concentration camps of Germany and they have this incredibly positive story to tell of their experience. I remember one man came up with this fantastic exercise program to keep others motivated to live. This is extreme where these people look like skin and bone yet there is still a fire in the belly for those that what to access it!
We certainly don't have conditions like that to contend with so already we are way up there with the luckiest people alive on this earth......we have choice of so much!. Some say this is where the problem lies, or you could be grateful for all this choice and then go about your day with making each choice a good one!!
A few days ago one of the younger members of our Natural Learning group asked me if I wanted a four leaf clover. "Of course!" I beamed and off he went running inside as I sat in the car waiting thinking is this for real? Out he came with a four leaf clover and I felt happy, grateful and lucky all rolled into one!!
The reason it is significant to me is because my Dad has always, since I have known him had a four leaf clover and said this brought him luck. Now at nearly 40 years of age I finally understand that it is little to do with luck and more to do with perspective. Focussing on what we want rather than don't want, seeing the positive in situations, living in a glass half full rather than half empty mentality is how it can be all the time.......which brings more happiness, joy and positive energy to everything you do therefore can only be a recipe for bigger and better things all the time!!
So, honestly when I was given a four leaf clover I said to myself wow can I get any luckier than I already feel in this life? And the answer is a resounding YES, of course I can because as I live in a positive, glass half full perspective things can only become better and more joyful and happy as I learn to live in the present moment every moment of the day :)
I was always fascinated how there were people in WWll Concentration camps of Germany and they have this incredibly positive story to tell of their experience. I remember one man came up with this fantastic exercise program to keep others motivated to live. This is extreme where these people look like skin and bone yet there is still a fire in the belly for those that what to access it!
We certainly don't have conditions like that to contend with so already we are way up there with the luckiest people alive on this earth......we have choice of so much!. Some say this is where the problem lies, or you could be grateful for all this choice and then go about your day with making each choice a good one!!
A few days ago one of the younger members of our Natural Learning group asked me if I wanted a four leaf clover. "Of course!" I beamed and off he went running inside as I sat in the car waiting thinking is this for real? Out he came with a four leaf clover and I felt happy, grateful and lucky all rolled into one!!
The reason it is significant to me is because my Dad has always, since I have known him had a four leaf clover and said this brought him luck. Now at nearly 40 years of age I finally understand that it is little to do with luck and more to do with perspective. Focussing on what we want rather than don't want, seeing the positive in situations, living in a glass half full rather than half empty mentality is how it can be all the time.......which brings more happiness, joy and positive energy to everything you do therefore can only be a recipe for bigger and better things all the time!!
So, honestly when I was given a four leaf clover I said to myself wow can I get any luckier than I already feel in this life? And the answer is a resounding YES, of course I can because as I live in a positive, glass half full perspective things can only become better and more joyful and happy as I learn to live in the present moment every moment of the day :)
Sunday 23 September 2012
Rethinking Everything
The changes have been dramatic since the last time I posted. There has been two unschooling conferences, plus a heap of work with our online Learning Community. My energy has increased ten fold as I have let go of so many limitations around tv, food, my time, the children's time, how we use/or don't use our time.
I have been learning myself, kite boarding, crochet, poi's, blogging and other computer activities around recording what the children have been up to using evernote. I have been learning how I learn and been curious with myself and what I enjoy in each moment. Noticing when I feel uncomfortable and listening to my needs.......Self Nurture and Love and with this comes the ability to give true authentic love to others.
The connection with the children and Jason has been incredible, we have reached a new level, as a family, of togetherness that feels so very beautiful, natural and loving......I know there is room for more growth and forever grateful for the place we are at NOW. As this is all there is, now.
I have been asking myself the question, am I happy now? If not why not, what is stopping me and usually there is a negative thought that is far from the reality of the situation creeping around in my mind and ruining the serenity of now :)
More often than not I can dissipate this negative thought quickly, if it is something that requires action this is usually something achievable immediately to bring us back to the easy flow of life. The challenges are seen as just that and not a "problem" that needs fixing rather just another way of recognising contrast and areas of growth.
It comes down to peace......I feel so peaceful even in the face of the challenges as these are always a part of life and necessary. The growth is the part of being human and adaptable to changes, it is fun to see this as a new learning threshold
I have been learning myself, kite boarding, crochet, poi's, blogging and other computer activities around recording what the children have been up to using evernote. I have been learning how I learn and been curious with myself and what I enjoy in each moment. Noticing when I feel uncomfortable and listening to my needs.......Self Nurture and Love and with this comes the ability to give true authentic love to others.
The connection with the children and Jason has been incredible, we have reached a new level, as a family, of togetherness that feels so very beautiful, natural and loving......I know there is room for more growth and forever grateful for the place we are at NOW. As this is all there is, now.
I have been asking myself the question, am I happy now? If not why not, what is stopping me and usually there is a negative thought that is far from the reality of the situation creeping around in my mind and ruining the serenity of now :)
More often than not I can dissipate this negative thought quickly, if it is something that requires action this is usually something achievable immediately to bring us back to the easy flow of life. The challenges are seen as just that and not a "problem" that needs fixing rather just another way of recognising contrast and areas of growth.
It comes down to peace......I feel so peaceful even in the face of the challenges as these are always a part of life and necessary. The growth is the part of being human and adaptable to changes, it is fun to see this as a new learning threshold
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