Awakening

Its happening I am here right now feeling alive and present in my aliveness and possibilities for adventure in each moment.

Why? and How? Because it is so much easier to make my decision and choices in each moment when I am aware of what matters most.

What? LOVE that is all that matters, it is simple! Come from a place of love and from your heart and the choice for each action or thought comes naturally and easily. If you are not sure how to do this , stay very still, listen and observe your breathing, slow it down, feel your heart then you will know what needs to be done next in each moment and all is great :) Relationships will be deeper with more meaning, connections will remain strong and loving, creations will be imaginative and inspiring!

This moment I felt the need to write, I want to share my journey towards Self Love and Love of all that is because by doing this I am validating who I am and not hiding, thinking no one would want to hear me go on about MY life.....this is not about me we are all connected every thing we do is for each other and the earth. If you can't imagine that think of the children step into their shoes and look at yourself, is this what you want them to be seeing? They see us all of us, thought and action!

Now I am beginning to understand the impact ALL my actions and thoughts have I can begin to really take RESPONSIBILITY for myself and part of that is going to mean sharing this journey from being born into a family of school teachers intrenched in the system, to becoming a school teacher, and then breaking free and moving towards really being MYSELF and not answering to or looking for answers from anyone else and knowing that especially institutions and systems are not a place for finding who I am. I am so grateful for where I have come from as this is also me at the same time it has given me the contrast of what I want to move away from and understanding of how I can use others, their information, then look in my heart for my own truth.

BEING FREE, free to be me, free from the judgement, blame, guilt that has been a huge part of my past for generations, because of the indoctrination of society and all that comes with it. No more have to's, should's, what if's. I have woken up and can see things for what they are......it is an illusion of our perception. I can do what ever I want and dream of what ever I want to see happen and it will! We have a choice.

The community I want to be part of is one where we grow together in peace, love and harmony always celebrating each other, always being open to new questions and each others different perspectives, always being open to new and creative ways of doing things and moving towards the most sustainable options. Focussing on positive solutions and how to put them in place whether thought or action as they are more often than not melded together.

Mackay Learners https://www.facebook.com/groups/397982793615213/  has been that for myself and the girls who call me "Mum". The supportive, nurturing people in this group are absolutely amazing. We learn together, we grow together and explore our world to create our dreams. Mackay Learning Circle through SelfDesign www.selfdesign.com has been a supportive on line community where we have been able to explore our inner most feelings and let go of limiting belief systems. The tools and strategies and most importantly mentors have meant I have awakened to my potential and can see I am already flooded with light :) I am here now with everything I need, everything from here on in is a bonus as I see the positive in all that I come across whether it is something for me to accelerate some growth or remove limitations or something to bask in the beauty of what is.

Now we are moving on in our adventure we call life, we move back to New Zealand (after four years in Australia) with so many new friends, so much personal growth, so open to possibilities that will happen in any way we choose. I have clarity around how I can live my truth in this world and know that there is certainly so much "living" to be done. I feel my power to create the world around me that I want, I feel the strength that is in others that can be of help through the challenging times. I see those that do not help me and can move on from these people and allow them to create the journey they choose as it is their choice.

I have 5yo on my lap as I am finishing this writing, she choose not to go with her Dad (my incredible loving partner in this life) to the beach with little sister. She is attempting to draw some pictures and alternating between enjoying this process and celebrating with herself and me and scribbling all over it angrily wanting it to be a certain way hmmmmm what is going on here......living..... this is it, contrast ebbs flows being with what is, loving them exactly where they are, loving ourselves exactly where we are.

She could start school now???

2013 and Grace will be five in March, therefore is of school age. Observing my thoughts around this have been an eye opener in itself. I keep reminding myself it has only been really since Grace was two that I woke up to this new awareness of how life could be. Before then I was still in the classroom teaching two days a week since she was 10 months old so my deschooling journey only began 3 years ago, probably more like the first Conscious Parenting conference I attended in 2011. And what a journey it has been, rethinking EVERYTHING, every little thing from the moment I wake up in the morning to notice what kind of attitude I have to what I eat for breakfast which has gone through so many massive changes trying to work out what fits ME and not what I think I "should" be eating because it is "healthy". Even what time I go to bed at night (yes I was one of those with a strict bedtime for myself lol).

So Grace now has freedom to choose what she eats, choose when she needs her rest, choose what activities she will pursue in any given moment and hence choose what, when and how her learning will happen. Only she knows these things, I can find out by asking though she is the one who needs to learn what works for her and what better time to start than now. Learning is life I mean.... living in the moment, being excited by what transpires or allowing the tears to flow if need be. Emotions have also been set free and allowed the space they deserve, this has been the hardest one for me to acknowledge that yes I have emotions and no they don't disappear miraculously if you ignore them!

My thoughts around school have ranged from reassuring myself we are on the right path choosing to be Natural Learners to maybe I could teach Grace just a little bit of math as I know it will be helpful. Needless to say I ignore all of the above and follow my deep down instinct which is to trust Grace in her path. She alone knows which way to follow and I can observe, support and encourage and this which brings me immense joy.

When I am in a doubting moment I bring myself back to the present by observing the girls playing or joining in if they allow. Or carrying on with my daily tasks with deep breathes and attention to my movements. Thats when I feel most grateful as the energy flows effortlessly and my body relaxes and feels genuinely at peace. Life is not hard it is easy when living NOW, this moment is always so beautiful and full of aliveness all around, when we are doing what we really want to do in each moment there is no need for guilt, shame, fear or any other negative emotion as there is only joy, excitement, happiness and creativity. I see this often when the girls play, they laugh out loud, become so immersed in their imaginations, move to the sounds around them, jump, roll, swing their limbs........can you tell I have really been Observing for Loving and noticing all that they do, this helps me with this journey back to SELF :)

Mother Role

This comes to mind often as I process being a parent. "Mother Role" for me has meant a huge amount of limitation and blocks that I finally became aware of and have slowly been sifting through. One of which is food. First child had a very strict food existence the first probably two years with breakfast, lunch and dinner being almost the same each day and by the clock most of the time! Luckily I saw the light and second child is very much in charge of her food intake and is very sure of her likes and dislikes. Yes there is what I consider to be junk food consumption and I am able to see this as another of her choices and not feel like I have to be the food police all the time :) I notice first child still occasionally asks for help with her food choices and so I like to quietly explain the importance of her listening to her body and knowing what it needs at any given time. I will also offer my opinion about a food choice if it is asked for, though always with the understanding that this is simply my opinion.

We now make food together and it is part of our learning day to discuss how, when, what and why we eat. As with many other things I listen for new pieces of information that I know I can glean from these smaller people who have the opportunity for much more freedom than I had!

Today"Mother Role" came up for me again when wind and tide aligned for me to go Kite boarding on my own. I felt so free and able to leave the kids with their Dad, take my gear and go for an indefinite time. It was not so long ago when I simply wouldn't go as it was not possible with the amount of housework, food to prepare, washing to fold and things to organise :) Looking back from now I was often overwhelmed with the daily tasks unbeknownst to me.

Wow I have moved ahead leaps and bounds with this. Not only do I leave with waves and kisses goodbye (rather than sneaking away hoping they wouldn't notice i was gone)  I am able to stay in the moment of driving the car to the beach breathing deeply in anticipation of being in nature, unload my gear have a chat to a couple of people about wind conditions. Kiteboard for a couple of hours and then return home to see very happy children who have eaten and have been playing in the water and happy to continue doing this for a furthur hour whilst Dad goes of kite boarding.

Let me explain some of the other crazy things that would go through my mind when I did manage to leave the house alone: what if they get hungry as I am the only one who knows what they like to eat and how to make it, i better really hurry as they might get whingy where no one can calm them down, the house will get totally trashed and it will take me all night to get everything back in order, there will be food left out and end up having to be thrown.......blah blah blah all the reasons I needed to be home with "my" children and cater for there every need.

So to explain how I feel now with my new way of BEing. By leaving the house to pursue kite boarding I am becoming more fit and healthy. I use this time to fill my own cup, I am having fun! I am pursuing a challenging learning experience, creating new friendships with like minded people.......just to name a few things and all of these for me are healthy role modelling for the girls. The beach and kite boarding is often a family affair too. We all love to spend time together at the beach and I love watching them enjoy Dad or I going out for a kite!

Happiness

It has been sometimes subtle and sometimes not the changes towards true happiness for me. This is happiness in the face of anything. Yes even when I am challenged by a situation I can feel happy to have this opportunity to learn and grow. Another term is grateful, finding the positive in a situation means that we can move forward with our learning rather than become stagnant.

I was always fascinated how there were people in WWll Concentration camps of Germany and they have this incredibly positive story to tell of their experience. I remember one man came up with this fantastic exercise program to keep others motivated to live. This is extreme where these people look like skin and bone yet there is still a fire in the belly for those that what to access it!

We certainly don't have conditions like that to contend with so already we are way up there with the luckiest people alive on this earth......we have choice of so much!. Some say this is where the problem lies, or you could be grateful for all this choice and then go about your day with making each choice a good one!!

A few days ago one of the younger members of our Natural Learning group asked me if I wanted a four leaf clover. "Of course!" I beamed and off he went running inside as I sat in the car waiting thinking is this for real? Out he came with a four leaf clover and I felt happy, grateful and lucky all rolled into one!!

The reason it is significant to me is because my Dad has always, since I have known him had a four leaf clover and said this brought him luck. Now at nearly 40 years of age I finally understand that it is little to do with luck and more to do with perspective. Focussing on what we want rather than don't want, seeing the positive in situations, living in a glass half full rather than half empty mentality is how it can be all the time.......which brings more happiness, joy and positive energy to everything you do therefore can only be a recipe for bigger and better things all the time!!

So, honestly when I was given a four leaf clover I said to myself wow can I get any luckier than I already feel in this life? And the answer is a resounding YES, of course I can because as I live in a positive, glass half full perspective things can only become better and more joyful and happy as I learn to live in the present moment every moment of the day :)

Rethinking Everything

The changes have been dramatic since the last time I posted. There has been two unschooling conferences, plus a heap of work with our online Learning Community. My energy has increased ten fold as I have let go of so many limitations around tv, food, my time, the children's time, how we use/or don't use our time.

I have been learning myself, kite boarding, crochet, poi's, blogging and other computer activities around recording what the children have been up to using evernote. I have been learning how I learn and been curious with myself and what I enjoy in each moment. Noticing when I feel uncomfortable and listening to my needs.......Self Nurture and Love and with this comes the ability to give true authentic love to others.

The connection with the children and Jason has been incredible, we have reached a new level, as a family, of togetherness that feels so very beautiful, natural and loving......I know there is room for more growth and forever grateful for the place we are at NOW. As this is all there is, now.

I have been asking myself the question, am I happy now? If not why not, what is stopping me and usually there is a negative thought that is far from the reality of the situation creeping around in my mind and ruining the serenity of now :)

More often than not I can dissipate this negative thought quickly, if it is something that requires action this is usually something achievable immediately to bring us back to the easy flow of life. The challenges are seen as just that and not a "problem" that needs fixing rather just another way of recognising contrast and areas of growth.

It comes down to peace......I feel so peaceful even in the face of the challenges as these are always a part of life and necessary. The growth is the part of being human and adaptable to changes, it is fun to see this as a new learning threshold

Slightly different track :)

A snippet from: http://www.creatinglearningcommunities.org/book/roots/laszlo2.htm

From There to Here

When we think of the kind of future we wish to bequeath to future generations, we imagine one in which we finally have found ways to live in harmony with each other and the other inhabitants of this planet and are consciously and ethically engaged in the most fascinating explorations of our human potential. This is our vision of a “sustainable and evolutionary future.” By sustainability we mean the capacity to maintain the viability of the biosphere since, without it, neither healthy life nor healthy societies are possible. Evolution, as we are using the term, implies the conscious capacity to unfold into new ways of self-organization that allow for a fuller expression of the creative potential of the universe of which we are part. In this sense, sustainability is as a necessary but not sufficient condition for an evolutionary future. But combined, these two features provide a powerful attractor¹  for the ethical co-creation of desirable futures.

Evolutionary Learning Community

Evolutionary Learning Community (ELC) is an ideal image of a future educational system. The three interrelated concepts that comprise the ELC construct (evolution, learning, and community) make explicit the key assumptions and aspirations underlying this image of education:

·         It is a community based educational system. Rather than functioning on the assumption that we need to go to school to learn, to work to be productive, and “away” to enjoy and have fun, ELC suggests the integration of work, learning, and enjoyment throughout life (i.e., intergenerational learning) in all our communities (e.g., family, neighborhood, organizations).

·         It is a learning oriented education, rather than a teaching based one. Its focus is life-long learning and the development of human potential.

·         It promotes self-directed, flexible, ongoing collaborative learning through learning community. This is not simply collective individual learning, but synergistic collaborative learning: learning content issues together while at the same time learning process issues about how to be community.

·         It seeks alignment with the evolutionary processes of which we are a part and empowers people to participate in conscious evolution.

Beautiful by Design

Chapter 1: "Nurturing Genius Through Natural Learning; Self Design"
Please log in and comment I want to hear other perspectives on this evolutionary thinking!!

This Chapter is full of "ah ha" moments. Made me realise how out of touch I am with true 'living'. How often have you felt in the flow of life where your daily activities and chores seem to just blend together effortlessly and your in touch with yourself and others. I know very occasionally this has happened, its called alignment with our own nature. We can have this all the time if we can stop thinking of our lives in terms of outcome and start noticing the inner process to lead to a more joyful way of living and learning.