2013 and Grace will be five in March, therefore is of school age. Observing my thoughts around this have been an eye opener in itself. I keep reminding myself it has only been really since Grace was two that I woke up to this new awareness of how life could be. Before then I was still in the classroom teaching two days a week since she was 10 months old so my deschooling journey only began 3 years ago, probably more like the first Conscious Parenting conference I attended in 2011. And what a journey it has been, rethinking EVERYTHING, every little thing from the moment I wake up in the morning to notice what kind of attitude I have to what I eat for breakfast which has gone through so many massive changes trying to work out what fits ME and not what I think I "should" be eating because it is "healthy". Even what time I go to bed at night (yes I was one of those with a strict bedtime for myself lol).
So Grace now has freedom to choose what she eats, choose when she needs her rest, choose what activities she will pursue in any given moment and hence choose what, when and how her learning will happen. Only she knows these things, I can find out by asking though she is the one who needs to learn what works for her and what better time to start than now. Learning is life I mean.... living in the moment, being excited by what transpires or allowing the tears to flow if need be. Emotions have also been set free and allowed the space they deserve, this has been the hardest one for me to acknowledge that yes I have emotions and no they don't disappear miraculously if you ignore them!
My thoughts around school have ranged from reassuring myself we are on the right path choosing to be Natural Learners to maybe I could teach Grace just a little bit of math as I know it will be helpful. Needless to say I ignore all of the above and follow my deep down instinct which is to trust Grace in her path. She alone knows which way to follow and I can observe, support and encourage and this which brings me immense joy.
When I am in a doubting moment I bring myself back to the present by observing the girls playing or joining in if they allow. Or carrying on with my daily tasks with deep breathes and attention to my movements. Thats when I feel most grateful as the energy flows effortlessly and my body relaxes and feels genuinely at peace. Life is not hard it is easy when living NOW, this moment is always so beautiful and full of aliveness all around, when we are doing what we really want to do in each moment there is no need for guilt, shame, fear or any other negative emotion as there is only joy, excitement, happiness and creativity. I see this often when the girls play, they laugh out loud, become so immersed in their imaginations, move to the sounds around them, jump, roll, swing their limbs........can you tell I have really been Observing for Loving and noticing all that they do, this helps me with this journey back to SELF :)
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