Children and Choice

Children arrive in this world perfect in every way and every single one is different, as we all have unique gifts to share with the world. They are a bundle of reliance on us as the parent and they know it is perfect. Being nurtured and cared for every minute is how it is going to be, why would they feel otherwise, born into this place with such loving caring parent/s.

Then we f*** it up for them. We start telling them right from the start how it is going to be, we start telling them what the world looks like and behaves like, we start telling them what is expected of them. Just like what was done to us right from the start and just like that voice in our head tells us……expectation, judgement, guilt, shame.

Why oh why do that, can’t we leave this child, brand new to the earthside world in their pure understanding of perfection? Can’t we leave them believing they have it all and everything is possible?

The one who is a daughter to me, when just gone 3 years old said “Why not?” I had no real authentic reason to respond to that! So then I made a conscious CHOICE to say YES to it all.

Yes life is perfect just the way it is, yes we have everything we need right here right now, yes you can have that chocolate for breakfast, yes we can go to the park right now, yes you can stay up until you are ready for sleep, yes you can watch that tv show for the tenth time…..yes yes yes. Why could I say yes to all these things because we have a CHOICE, it is their choice for the taking and my choice to support and advocate for both my daughters to have what ever they need in their experience in the moment.

And guess what…….the world didn’t blow up in my face because I was a bad mother, in fact the children started to respond to the yes’s by being much happier and more fun to be around, I started to become more happy and fun to be around! We started to feel this (for me) new found freedom and explore the world in ways I didn’t know was possible. I was learning a whole new way to be in this world that they already knew and I LOVE it! We were learning every moment, every moment being an opportunity for growth and learning. I feel energized, free and liberated.

Freedom to choose is living life to its fullest, why do we take this away from children right at the get go. What makes them so different to us in their capabilities to make choices? Even if they are a little unsure or unthoughtful in their choices how else are they going to learn this basic human trait if they haven’t been given their full right to exercise their brain, body and soul in this area. Isn’t it up to us to guide them with our more extended knowledge and then allow them to forge their own path?

If you hold on to any power over in your relationship with your child by choosing for them there will be repercussions in the form of rebellion, addiction, hatred, fear……who wants that?

So here we are giving ourselves the choice to do anything we want anytime we want……..so how does that look without their being a whole lot of crazy repercussions.

I am also being a role model for balance, choosing predominantly food that is going to nourish me and encouraging them with what this can look like, I choose to balance between outdoor active fun and indoor time with technology rest and sleep, I choose to challenge myself to use my brain and think outside the box for inner growth and expansion, I choose to nourish my soul by giving myself the time or activities I need to live in a place of thrival, I choose to ask for help and support when needed to move through challenges that are faced, I choose to be grateful for what I have in this moment and see the abundance everywhere.